Mommy is going on a long vacation.

When I find myself short on patience I like to give myself a time out in the bathroom, but lately within seconds Hendrix is at the bottom of the stairs yelling "MOM!!  Are you here??" as if I could just leave.

I have told him over and over again...of course I am here. I can't just leave without you.  If I could I would but the police would put mommy in jail.
This seemed to finally get through his thick skull so now it is my go to line.

Why can't you read me books while you are driving????  Because Mommy will go to jail.

Why can't we have ice cream and chips for dinner???? Because mommy will go to jail.

Why do I have to take a nap???? Because if you don't I am likely to do something that will surely land me in jail.

I just hope that when I do land in the big house for being 'Mother of the Year' the warden will let me accessorize my jumpsuit with our fantastic Handcuff Earrings.

#orangeisthenewblack