Last night Hendrix lost his first tooth and I lost my sanity. The details are foggy but a few remain. Lost keys, jumping a fence, and the early morning silent treatment from my dear husband. What can I say...all work and no play makes mommy a real bitch.
When I find myself short on patience I like to give myself a time out in the bathroom, but lately within seconds Hendrix is at the bottom of the stairs yelling "MOM!! Are you here??" as if I could just leave.
I have told him over and over again...of course I am here. I can't just leave without you. If I could I would but the police would put mommy in jail.
This seemed to finally get through his thick skull so now it is my go to line.
Why can't you read me books while you are driving???? Because Mommy will go to jail.
Why can't we have ice cream and chips for dinner???? Because mommy will go to jail.
Why do I have to take a nap???? Because if you don't I am likely to do something that will surely land me in jail.
I just hope that when I do land in the big house for being 'Mother of the Year' the warden will let me accessorize my jumpsuit with our fantastic Handcuff Earrings.
Our first parking lot sale was a gas thanks to the old lady population.
One toothless old broad who smelled of cat pee and I'm sure has trouble opening her front door because of a towering mountain of horderness made rings magically disappear. I tried to make her confess by indirectly telling her there is a special place in hell for the sort, but she did'nt bite......
Another connoisseur of fine crappy jewelry literally DID bite one of our necklaces obviously proving her expertise in said fine jewels. She actually had the nerve to say our stuff was not special enough for her. I told her to Bite Me (not really).
I did decide that when I am a crazy old lady I am going to go to sales and bite an ass load of jewelry.