IWA ALL the WAY!

So my 20 year HS reunion is in 2 weeks.  WTH!
I mean I remember my parents going to theirs and they were OLD.

I will be flying solo to this event because Ian
is not a chit chat kinda guy. You know he is the laid back quiet one and I am the loud obnoxious one.  Plus then we have to get a sitter.

Seeing as the reunion is on the other side of town I was thinking I might have to call my dad for a ride and crash at their house, they live much closer to the restaurant than I do. My dad always told me in HS no matter where I was, or how drunk I was, he would come and get me no questions asked.  Well I never actually took him up on that offer as I was a pretty good girl, but things have changed.

I drove a big old boat of an old lady car in high school that had a Hullabaloo bumper sticker on it.  It was nicknamed the Hullabaloozer.  It also had a MOM'S TAXI bumper sticker.  Both a glimpse into my future.

I am really looking forward to seeing everyone.  I loved my years at Incarnate and second only to my parents I kinda feel like it made me who I am.

So if I drink too much and start singing the IWA school song call my dad....you are welcome to crash there too AND he won't ask any questions.

Old Lady Hands

I remember getting a kick out of my grandma not being able to open jars.

She would pass one to me and marvel at my strength.

Now I am helping Laura make thumb splints out of popsicle sticks and things I used to take for granted like pulling pork and giving the old wine spigot a good twist have become exercises in futility.

Today, per customer request, I had to turn Alien Rings into necklaces. Back in the day I would have just pried the rings shanks off the Alien head but because of my condition I have to soak them in boiling water to soften the glue. 

In the words of Nell Carter 'Give Me A BREAK!'

How much longer until we can put these kids to work???  Child labor and Hullabaloo go hand in arthritic hand. 

Some pictures of me working my craft.

An Eye For an Eye

Had a great parenting moment last night.
Yesterday morning before school Hendrix and Gibby were sitting on the front porch and Gibby did something to annoy Hendrix. Blah blah blah.
Hendrix pinches Gibby so I go out and pinch him.  Not too hard, just hard enough to get his attention.
He looks at me horrified and says 'Hey! That hurt.'  And I say 'Of course it does, how do you think Gibby likes it??  Don't do it again.'
Pick up the kids from school and Hendrix pulls Gibby's hair.....I tell him when we get home I am going to pull his hair.  Well he does'nt like the sound of that at all so we have a nice long talk that goes something like this....
If you pull his hair I will pull yours, if you pinch him I will pinch you.  Sooner or later you will stop.
Hendrix is old enough to start using some restraint and he is really into rules, especially imposing them on other people, so I think this is a swell idea.
He does not object, he is a reasonable child after all.
So later on I am in the kitchen making dinner and I hear a fight breaking out.  I walk out just in time to see Hendrix hit Gibby.  Well, hitting was not discussed so I told him to go to TIME OUT!
He starts to cry and have a fit and says 'You can hit me mommy'.  'Don't put me in time out, just hit me.'
I did not hit him...he went to time out and all day long I kept seeing his poor miserable face telling me I could hit him.
Total backfire.

Reality Bites

Hard to believe I was lounging by a pool drinking Bloody Mary's 48 hours ago.

Reality bitch slapped me today.

First morning of kindergarten drop off will never be forgotten, but not for the usual reasons.
Went out to the car to find it dead. One of Gibby's favorite pastimes is playing with the overhead lights.

Pulled out my phone to make some calls, but for some reason could not make any outgoing calls.
After a complete mental freak out I realized I was going to have to call upon a ne ighbor. Luckily Ted a retired fireman was home and saved the day by taking us all to school.

Drop off went pretty well with minimal tears, but shit was about to get REAL real.

As we round the corner onto our street I see that my car is in my neighbors front yard. Apparently in my distress I forgot to put on the emergency brake and my car rolled down our driveway, crossed the street, hit my neighbors car and ran up on the curb. Normally such a scene would make me scream but I just hung my head in defeat.

Luckily no one was hurt and insurance will make it as painless as possible but seriously.....WTH!

First Day of Kindergarten. 

Also, Clementine pooped herself at Hullabaloo today and had to have a bath in the sink. 

The Dog Days of Summer

I am beginning to see a pattern.

School ends and it's summer. 
Time for swimming, vacations, fireflies, outdoor festivities, and loads of exciting days making memories to last a lifetime with my beautiful children.

By the end of summer my dream has become a nightmare.

It is all I can do not to heavily medicate myself until I hear the first school bell ring.

9 days and counting.

Censor THIS!

So the Bumper Sticker Incident got me thinking.....Is Hullabaloo a good environment for kids????

I mean I don't want to be known as 'that mom' at the kids school.  I grew up with plenty of art nudity and the like, but it was less Burlesque and more Baroque.

Would you let your kids play with mine????

Zappa Crappa in the john.

????

Biker Chick

Bet you did not know that about me.

Lovely Rita.

Just Smile

Last night Hendrix lost his first tooth and I lost my sanity.  The details are foggy but a few remain.  Lost keys, jumping a fence, and the early morning silent treatment from my dear husband.  What can I say...all work and no play makes mommy a real bitch.

See... they look happy and well fed. 

You can't even tell I am totally hung over.

Mommy is going on a long vacation.

When I find myself short on patience I like to give myself a time out in the bathroom, but lately within seconds Hendrix is at the bottom of the stairs yelling "MOM!!  Are you here??" as if I could just leave.

I have told him over and over again...of course I am here. I can't just leave without you.  If I could I would but the police would put mommy in jail.
This seemed to finally get through his thick skull so now it is my go to line.

Why can't you read me books while you are driving????  Because Mommy will go to jail.

Why can't we have ice cream and chips for dinner???? Because mommy will go to jail.

Why do I have to take a nap???? Because if you don't I am likely to do something that will surely land me in jail.

I just hope that when I do land in the big house for being 'Mother of the Year' the warden will let me accessorize my jumpsuit with our fantastic Handcuff Earrings.

#orangeisthenewblack

Soft Serve

Here is a screen shot of what was going on at Hullabaloo this morning. I got a message from Laura while I was picking up a few groceries on my way in......These are the Days of Our Lives.

At least she apologized.

Do NOT trust the elderly

Our first parking lot sale was a gas thanks to the old lady population.

One toothless old broad who smelled of cat pee and I'm sure has trouble opening her front door because of a towering mountain of horderness made rings magically disappear.  I tried to make her confess by indirectly telling her there is a special place in hell for the sort, but she did'nt bite......

Another connoisseur of fine crappy jewelry literally DID bite one of our necklaces obviously proving her expertise in said fine jewels.  She actually had the nerve to say our stuff was not special enough for her.  I told her to Bite Me (not really).

I did decide that when I am a crazy old lady I am going to go to sales and bite an ass load of jewelry.

Make Offer!

Getting ready for the BIG Sale!!  Check out my fantastic Christmas vest.  NO reasonable offers refused.  We also have a great box of cords available. 

The Proctologist is in.

This thing has been floating around Hullabaloo since before my time....not sure where it came from, but we always get a good laugh when one of the kids finds it again.  What a Doll!

Kennels for kids

I joke. But really who hasn't had that idea. The kids each brought a large box to the front office and started poking holes into them. Hendrix said they were breathing holes. Clever kid.

Speaking of animals........checkout our vintage Party Animal Earrings

Bringing Glamour Back to the Streets

I always joke that if worse came to worse I could sell off my entire vintage clothing collection, but I would NEVER sell this coat.
 I would be homeless on the streets and this is what I would be wearing.  With our Wine O earrings of course.

Aunt/Mommy gets the last laugh

When things reach a fever pitch at Hullabaloo we grab a sign.  It should be noted none of the kids can read.
We find this an excellent way to diffuse the situation and bring a little laughter into our day.

Mr. Buster

Buster is our brother Stevie and sister-in-law Katie's new doggie.  He just had to try on some jewels. He's pretty hard-core. Be like Buster...

Dead stock slayer necklace

Crown of Thorns

Hendrix crunching some serious numbers wearing our Barbaric Choker that also doubles as a Crown of Thorns.
Hard Core or Crown of Thorns??? You decide.

I'm sorry mommy

It's never a good sign to be told by a toddler 'I'm sorry' before you know there's anything wrong.

Poop. Poop everywhere.

Clean up time.

Clementine is ANGRY!

Clementine and her corn dog modeling the 'let's go crazy' necklace.  Buy it here...

Awesome 80s ShopHullabaloo necklace

What's the Hullabaloo?!?!?!

This about sums it up.

Me- 'We bring our kids to work.' 

People- 'You are so lucky!' 

(insert laugh track here)

13 years ago I started my 'dream' job.  I found the ad in a newspaper - remember those? and it said something like this.....'Wholesale vintage costume and clothing sales, some travel.'

As it turns out it WAS a dream job and within the year my sister became a Hullabaloozer too.  I traveled the world, met amazing people, and acquired a killer wardrobe, but it came at a hefty price for Hullabaloo was located in crazy town and run by Queen Crazy. Together Laura and I navigated the daily shit storm that began rumbling at 8:00 each morning.  

7 years later my sister and I took out a loan and sold our souls to the SBA.  Oh the glory we would have! The riches, the fame.....THE STRESS!

The first year we had to relocate to a new warehouse, the economy tanked, and we decided to start having babies.  A perfect storm of shitty diapers, shitty sleep, and shitty business.  

6 years later it's business as usual.  I go to work to wipe butts, make lunches and referee fights, oh, and run a multi-hundred dollar corporation.  Sometimes we get lucky and get a huge order from Marc Jacobs (really happened...once) but most of the time we're just trying to keep groceries in the fridge and the rent and mortgage paid. 

Enough of my sad story!  I work with my sister/best friend everyday and have lots of love in my life, so it ain't all bad.  Really I have been thinking about writing a blog for some time because this shit is hilarious!  

Our day to day follies are made for reality T.V. (not that I would EVER entertain that idea #Bravo;)  It could be called 'What's that Hullabaloo?!?!"

I promise to make you feel like a better mom. I promise to make you feel good about your job and love life.  And I promise to make you laugh.  The only thing that gets Laura and me through most days is laughing, so if you have a minute, check in to see what we're laughing at.

Also, I will be shamelessly promoting my half ass company. 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SHOPHULLABALOO?ref=si_shop

Cheers!  Bridgette


***This will be the longest post BTW because 'ain't nobody got time for that.'